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The Death of
Someone Close
The death of a close relative or friend is a bitter experience
for any of us. Although we may accept that time will eventually
soothe our grief, the immediate feeling of shock and loss
is very real.
The funeral should help family and friends to express and
share their sadness. It will probably be your last chance
to join together in focusing your thoughts on the person who
has died. The ceremony should be remembered as an occasion
which uniquely and lovingly honoured that person’s life,
and for that it must capture the essence of his or her personality.
The funeral director will deal with all the practical arrangements,
but it is up to you to indicate what kind of funeral ceremony
you would like.
A Non-Religious Funeral
Those with a religious faith will normally want a minister,
priest or other religious leader to officiate. However, there
are now more and more people whom religion is of little importance,
or who have made a positive choice to live without it.
For them, a religious funeral service may seem insincere,
and bring little consolation. It may not feel the right way
to take their leave of someone who did not accept the religious
view of life or death. In this case, it is likely to have
more warmth and meaning if the ceremony is of the kind favoured
by the Humanist Society of Scotland and its Registered Officiants.
Who Are Humanists?
Humanists care deeply about moral issues, but from a non-religious
standpoint, and our outlook has a very long history.
We believe in the good that is in human beings, and in the
right of the individual to free choice in the main decisions
of life and death. We hold that humanity must find solutions
to problems from within ourselves, not rely on the supernatural
to supply easy answers.
What Sort of People are
Humanist Officiants?
Registered Officiants of the Humanist Society of Scotland
come from a variety of backgrounds. They are men and women
who are familiar with the procedures of cremation and burial.
They share an ability to empathise with the experience of
bereavement. They are good listeners, sensitive to the family’s
wishes, yet ready to give clear guidance as needed, able to
take charge of a solemn public occasion.
Humanist Officiants observe a high standard of conduct towards
the bereaved family and other mourners.
Whatever the circumstances of the life and death, Humanist
Officiants are not there to moralise or judge – but
to understand. Together with you, they can plan a personal
and dignified funeral ceremony, and conduct if for you on
the day.
The Ceremony
Once you have arranged to have Humanist ceremony, your Officiant
will wish to speak with you and ideally meet with you and
others closely affected by the death. The Officiant needs
to get to know as much as possible about the person who has
died. Because every person is a unique individual, each ceremony
is different, and highly personal.
Family members or friends may, if they wish take part, with
a reading, a poem, or with their own tribute. It all helps
to make the occasion more personal and special. You may also
wish to choose a special piece of music as a suitable way
of reflecting the personality of the one who has died.
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What
Will
People Think?
The kind of ceremony you choose must be right
and appropriate for the person who has died and for the close
family. You needs not be concerned that anything in the ceremony
will offend anyone; the object is not to attack religious
beliefs, merely to focus in a sincere way on the reality of
the life that has ended. Most Officiants will include in the
ceremony a short period of quiet reflection, which is an opportunity
for silent prayer, for those who want it.
People often remark afterwards how moving, sincere and fitting
they found a Humanist funeral. For the close family and friends
it is a great comfort to have provided a ceremony such as
the person who has died would have wanted.
Practical Points
- The Humanist Society of Scotland has a national
Register of trained and experienced Officiants in Scotland.
The back of this leaflet explains how you can contact one
of them.
- If at all possible, you. Or the Funeral Director
should contact the Officiant before arranging the time and
place of the funeral, to insure that the Officiant is available
- A Humanist Officiant norm ally receives a
fee similar to that of a minister. The Funeral Director
normally handles this payment, and will put it on the bill
as one of the “disbursements” or “external
payments”.
- Usually an organist is available; any many
crematoria have facilities for playing tapes or CD’s.
This gives you considerable freedom of choice of music,
and the Officiant can advise on what may be appropriate.
- The back of the leaflet gives details of
a booklet, which could be useful if you wish to prepare
your ceremony yourself. A Humanist Officiant may also be
able to help you with this.
- If you are planning your own eventual funeral,
a Humanist Officiant may be able to help you with this.
You should ensure that whoever is likely to be organising
your funeral knows what you want. It is not enough to request
it in your will that may not be read in time to make arrangements.
How to find out more
Usually your Funeral Director will contact a
Humanist Officiant if that is what you choose. You are also
welcome to make your own enquiries to your local Humanist
Society of Scotland Co-Ordinator.
North of Scotland Co-Ordinator
George D Rodger
17 Howburn Place
Aberdeen
AB11 6XT
Tel: 01224 573034
South of Scotland Co-Ordinator
Robin Wood
37 Inchmurrin Drive
Kilmarnock
KA3 2JD
Tel: 01563 526710
The booklet Funerals Without
God, could be useful to anyone thinking of arranging a humanist
funeral. It offers practical guidance, sample ceremonies,
and a selection of suitable readings of poetry and prose.
It costs 5.00 including P&P from either of the co-ordinators.
Cheques etc should be made payable to :Humanist Society of
Scotland”.
The Humanist Society of Scotland
is recognised by the Inland Revenue as a charity.
Scottish Charity Number: SC026570 |
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| Golden
Charter Funeral Plans |
The Most
Thoughtful Decision
you Could Make |
Have you ever thought
about your funeral? There comes a time in all our lives
when its natural to contemplate such things …
a time to think about loved ones, and what you’d
like to leave them. |
To
Celebrate A Life
|
The Death
of Someone Close |
The death of a close relative or friend is a bitter
experience for any of us. Although we may accept that
time will eventually soothe our grief, the immediate
feeling of shock and loss is very real.
|
Paying
For The Funeral
|
Funerals
can be Expensive |
Check where the
money for the funeral will come from, otherwise, if
there is not enough money available, you may have to
bear the cost yourself. |
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